Pics of Our Anniversary Hike

She actually got stranded for a minute

Higher Than it Looks

Long Way Down

Portuguese Thanksgiving Meal

Daily Walk to the Store

Inspiration

The other day, I tried out for Senior Speaker for my graduation. As a non traditional student, I had little in common with my fellow colleagues (other than long study nights and library hours and a bunch of student debt, you know that stuff). I wasn't sure what to speak about for my tryout, so I though about what the last three and a half years have given me, and the rest of the graduates.

I do not believe everybody has to go to college. I do not believe it makes anybody better as person, solely because they went to college. That being said, university education is a great opportunity for an individual to grow in numerous ways. It gives us experiences, knowledge, and, as I discoursed about, inspiration. I told the story of a rock star professor that gave a speech I had heard at Steph's graduation that had inspired me to pursue my college career (or at least to FINISH my undergrad :). I spoke about how a university education is much and 'to whom much is given, much is required. Then, I gave a number of guidelines that I have seen as patterns in the lives of inspirational people living inspirational lives.

I finished, listened to the other speeches (which were quite good) , said my 'good byes' and 'thank yous', and signed off. I did not get the part...

Going into the speech. I told others, and myself, that whatever the outcome I could not be upset. The words I spoke were truly mine (other than the occasional inspirational quote :), truly my feelings, my inspiration from others. I am proud of my speech, not because I think that it was a great speech, it wasn't terrible, but because I gave it. I was afraid, nervous, still am oddly, but I'll get back to that.

Portugal has, in so many ways, inspired my life. It's people, character, charm. It's beauty, fortitude, wild yet calm nature. It has given me, given us, so much. It would be tragic to not share what we have been given with others. Sadly, this blog has not contained the magic that this experience has been. However, we will, for the rest of our lives, share with others what we have garnered from our time here.

Back to the speech. It is always easy to say that something won't be a big deal, until it happens, then your brain tells you it is, or your heart, they like to pretend they are the other sometimes I think. After getting the news that I did not get it, I quickly found myself caring, wondering. People, professors, that I respect, rejected my efforts, for whatever reason (the guy who got it did give a good speech, and I have no disillusion that mine was crazy awesome). Instead of thinking, "Hey, his was just better", insecurity slipped in like a thief in the night, saying "Maybe this... maybe that. Maybe they think this... maybe they think that". Distance, mixed with culture stress/ culture shock can make the mind do crazy things. It can make you doubt yourself and many other things.

What I feared (however misguided and unfounded, I hope :) those thoughts may be) is that I had not had the respect of some of those I look up to the most. And that turned into the prospect of doubting myself, and the prospect of failing at other things upon returning to the states; jobs, grad school, etc. I have always struggled with insecurities such as this, and I won't get into reasons (not necessary for this message). I believe those were sincere in the positive critique they gave of my speech now. This is no reflection of those professors, it is, solely, me, and a part of this story. And back to it at that.

I cannot be sad, or discouraged, for long at least ( I was, surprisingly to myself, grumpy/ bummed for a day). For once, I will take my own advice. I spoke about how we need to realize, and not be discouraged at failure, or opposition. It is, as I said, the very things that create the stories that romance our souls (a little much?). The truth is, it matters little in many regards how others feel about us. This is not to say that we shut others out, or stop listening. It is just this, and little more: no matter what others think, when you feel called to do something, work hard, until it is done or until you get other orders. Surprisingly, I forget to not care as much about how others see me as much as how hard I work at what it is I should be becoming. I saw a great quote (on Facebook, but, whatever). about seeking to love more than to be loved. I forget a lot that this is what we are called to live like. As difficult as this is, it is good. It is possible, if not probable, that I will fail at a number of things in my life, as I have in the past. But how tragic to forget the people, and experiences in my life who have inspired me to be what I would have the world to become... better.

God, my wife, my friends, those very professors. They have all been a part of the grand symphony of inspiration that has taught me that no, matter what, one foot must always follow the other. As we surfed with a friend today, I am reminded, if I miss a wave, there is most assuredly no other like it to follow, they are as unique as snowflakes, they also most assuredly, there will be other waves that follow. If one pouts and drags their board to shore because they ate it hard and missed an opportunity, they will never experience what it feels like to walk on water (which btw, we shall never forget who lifted Peter when he sank).

Back to Portugal. As we near our times end here, the amount of gratitude we owe these people, this place, for what it has inspired in us, living life poetically and inspired, cannot be overstated. To ever life an inspiring life, one must be inspired, to have giants shoulders to stand on (as Issac Newton, or Bernard of Chartres said). Today, Portugal has inspired us, as we prepare to step one foot in front of the other, closer to being back in the states, and further into our future.

For there are these three things that endure: Faith, Hope and Love, but the greatest of these is Love. 

-St. Paul

"Today, if you become frightened, instead, become inspired."

-patient on Gray's Anatomy

   

Of Romance and Ransom

Man, we are tired. Sore from crazy Cross-fit workouts for sure, but also tired emotionally. We continue to be active with out friends, attending parties, events, meeting new people. However, our time is dwindling here. Our dreams are oddly filled with scenes of people and places from back in the states.  It will be weird not seeing small cars everywhere, people speaking Portuguese or broken English or even the many languages spoken in this Global Village. It will be weird not being able to get Pastel da Natal or Bola de Berlim. We will miss the chorizo and piri piri sauce (at least Danny will). It will be odd seeing streets that are recognizable as streets and not what we thought where cobblestone sidewalks (although they are narrow enough). We will miss the salt water breeze and the rocky shores. Even the constant holy glow of futebol on TVs in cafes and homes.

Mostly, however, it is the people. Our friends have created a home for us. They have opened theirs'. They have opened their hearts to us as well. We will miss seeing their faces, working hard with them in workouts, learning their language and culture, eating meals and drinking cafes. This country has romanced our souls, inspired our minds and hearts in the greatest ways. God has blessed us with a wonderful opportunity to be here. How could we be so blessed?

It always surprises me to hear of people who do not know that Portugal is a country, or even that the Portuguese are cognizant that people are so many people are ignorant of this historical, important, and beautiful country. Many will never be wooed by the cobble stone streets and the charming architecture. They will never be soothed by the symphonic sounds of the Atlantic and Mediterranean waters, or intoxicated by the aromas of fresh thyme and fruit trees springing from the fertile soils. Ignorance of this majestic place is tragic.

If one loves seafood, they will love the Algarve. If it swims, they eat it, with wine, and olive oil. The fruit, vegetables, and nuts not only delight the tongue, but the smells captivate the nose too. The cuisine is one of the best ways to familiarize you with the culture. The artistry and care undertaken awakens the visitor to a magical land worthy of the best novels.

We have come here, learned much, and continue to do so. We have the hope of One who sacrificed much to show us love. We have done our best to share that love and hope with those who have shared their lives with us. We have learned much from them and we pray they have seen what we love, who we love, most.

“Remember that when you leave this earth, you can take with you nothing that have received--only what you have given.” 

― St. Francis of Assisi